Be a REAL MAN :- RESPECT ALL WOMEN in ALL RESPECTS

Source:-
http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/be-a-real-man-and-respect-women/

“Enough is enough”, “We want justice” are few of many words I had seen on posters, and heard in yelling voices, in the protest at RAISINA hills, fighting water cannons and tear gases, 2 years ago. But still a thought that very often lingers in my mind, that had we introspected and changed ourselves, our attitude, rather than just demanding fare and timely justice. Have we done our part, honestly our duty, in hitting one of the main root cause, our own minds, and the “MAN” mind set? As far as what I see there have been efforts, but all seems to be in vain, as the result is zero, because the mandatory change, which was to bring into attitude of ours, is still invisible to a very far extent.

Since 2 days, there have been a lot of chaos and noise about the interview of one of the most heinous criminal we can ever witness. The reactions from different sect of people on interview of the NIRBHAYA/DAMINI case accused, Mukesh Singh, by BBC and #NirbhayaInsulted has trended across the social media, surpassing even the jumps of stock exchanges. But believe me, it’s not only #NirbhayaInsulted, it’s more than that, it is #WeAreAgainInsulted.

I am not only penning down my anguish and frustration on that culprit, but also to the people who believe and support that the interview should not have been conducted , should be banned and not broadcast. I differ and disagree with them and this is my whole sole opinions, although few might NOT agree.

I ask why the hell it should not be aired. That interview and the mindset of that criminal and people of that sort raises a lot of questions we need to address; questions that we Indians don’t want to hear ,accept , answer and rather always avoid. It raises questions for and to We Indian MARD and society, to the same extent, as it raises question to our judicial system that why that culprit is still alive. It slaps a question to “us” again, that where we are and where we are leading to with people having the mind-set in sync with the accused, still around us.

We can easily come across men, even women, in our day today life, if not having exactly that mentality for Women, but in a close proximity. It raises a question that, why don’t we face and accept the reality, that there are people, who think women are just commodities, and we have done nothing to curb their mentality. And if these termites prevail, persist and flourish in our society, it’s not only the government or authorities to be blamed, but also WE. We Indian men also are equally responsible and liable for it. 

Why we pay deaf ears and blind eyes to these kinds of stuffs even to the smallest scale. Why we always try to avoid our moral and social responsibility and then find excuse for it. Why don’t we come out of our shells and argue with people with that insane ideology. What is the use of being an educated IT engineer , when we don’t have the guts to argue with an arrogant cab driver or a guard , who thinks in the same manner and says that, “Saab , ladkiya ab taange dikha k ghumengi  raato mein to ye sab to hoga hi na”. Why we avoid discussions with them at that moment, thinking, “kaun muh lage” and later on abuse them in front of our colleagues. Where goes that sense of objection, which comes when grading is low in appraisals? Why don’t we gather our conscious, courage and anger and say “Abe, taange dikhayengi to kya rape kar doge. Who had given you this right? And what If I think the same way for your girls, seeing their bare stomach and waist in a sari”? Occurrence of these sort crimes frequently is unacceptable and so is our Social& Moral behaviour towards it.

And why the hell so much uproar about claiming that the interview is giving a justification platform to that accused, and makes him a celebrity. Come-on, crap it up. First see the interview and then decide. The interview statements released till now have revealed a very real picture of a particular sect of Indian men and society, which we all are very much aware of ,  and it’s up to us to decide whether the accused can have anything to justify himself and such a heinous act. I am sure no-one sensitive ever would agree with his statement and I believe that everyone marking their views on different platforms is a sensitive person. So question of “justification” seems nowhere to me and we should not be bothered about that, because we have already hailed him as criminal deserving capital punishment. Instead we should be more concerned about the statement he made that, “next time if any rapist will rape, he will make sure to kill the girl” .We should revert to him and to similar people with some strong message that “No you sick-minds, this won’t happen now”. Go watch the interview, feel the pain, the anguish, the frustration and then decide whether the interview has made him like any celebrity and provided him a justification platform. I am sure the answer will be a big NO.

To me the biggest ironical comment is that the interview will bring global shame to our country. Hadn't our political, social and cultural leaders already done a lot towards it, making stupid remarks over women and preaching them about Do’s and Don’ts. They are so called responsible faces of our nation and their statements have been biggest shameful mockeries. That rapist does not represent India to the level which they do, so forget about shame. We are already very much into that shit of shame, by those acts.
In-sensitiveness in freedom of speech is what few are talking. I mean, are you nuts to expect sensitive attitude from that person in his speech. Had he been sensitive, he would not have done that crime. Sensitive behavior are also expected from intuitive and educated  people , but when lawyers , politicians , normal persons of this nation are least sensitive towards it, expecting sensitiveness in freedom of speech from that criminal seems asking a kindergarten kid to solve a differential equation. In fact, he might not be aware that he has a right which is called Freedom of Speech.
Also, I am very much skeptical to the way our media is presenting, portraying and debating on this. It feels that they are least concerned about the interview; instead they are remorseful and frustrated that how they missed the golden chance. How the idea of interviewing a rape accused couldn't be executed from their end. How can a British media channel show a segment of Indian mind-set? It seems that, BBC had snatched a golden egg-laying hen, which could have easily brought them a lot of TRP and money.
 And here comes the best. The “Zalim Lotion” word “Ban”. “Ban it and escape”. The interview broadcast has been banned by our government who as always don’t want to nail deep down to the root cause and do something towards fixation. Just Ban it and, avoid the chaos. “Banning something” to government/authorities, is what Google is to an IT engineer. “Ban karo aur patli gali se nikal lo”. But we have to ensure that, there should not be any escape to anyone who is just avoiding its responsibility.

There is no worth in rising to global power when you can’t respect women power. There is no need for enchanting hymns, praises and respect for Goddesses of Abode, when you don’t have the same feelings and do the same for Goddesses of Earth, our women.

The need of the hour is to watch the interview, face it, discuss it, feel the agony, be in anger, accept the reality, challenge “IT” and rectify “IT”. And “IT” is nothing but the mind-sets of these types of Indian Men. It is shameful but a bitter fact that we have to accept and confront the main issue:-Indian Men Mind, that We Indian Men do not respect Women. Yes, we all do not respect women. Don’t talk about any other country and argue that rapes happen everywhere. If our home is dirty we should first clean it up rather than pointing to the dirt of our neighbors.

Accept this ,that we (including me) all are dirty men with dirty minds. And it is this “dirty mind” that has to be changed. It’s not only just that “I” respect my women , who are my relatives and associated with me in any possible manner, but also that we should have the same feeling for all women, irrespective of caste, religion, creed , social background, profession, anything. Also, it is our responsibility to engrave the same mentality in minds of every man around us. The mentality that women doing a job in fashion industry/film industry /call centers are sluts’ type of women needs to be challenged and then obliterated. When we men do not have any guts to take anything at the stake of our respect, then how the Fu*k we think that we have right to declare a women character and disrespect her on the basis of her profession, clothes, etc.

It’s high time again to set some act and things right. We must do whatever we can to even shackle this mind-set, try at least once, to pelt a stone on this filthy minds wall which is very much prevalent in our society, even at our homes.

It’s said that “Rome was not built in a day”. The same goes for this mental termite. It has been nourished all throughout years and passed to us by our fore fathers. We have to build another “Rome” in fact INDIA. INDIA of minds respecting women and I know that would also not happen in a day, but believe that it will happen. We have recently created history in elections and we can show our power again to “CRUSH and CURB” people like Mukesh.

Move out from the tag of Social media citizen and be an actual responsible citizen. Instead of shouting, do something, do whatever you can, to hurt even most minute section of this Indian men mindset. Start from yourself first, Change yourself. Mahatma Gandhi had said "Be the change you want to see".Determine yourself to respect all women, whether known or unknown, office colleague OR tea vendor, house maid OR even a prostitute. Have respect for all Women. Indulge in arguments, with everyone, challenge them who feel that women are “meant for this”, whether they are elder to you, your kith and kin; let them shout and chide that “zuban mat ladao”. But let them know that this is wrong. "Every woman deserves respect, as we men demand."

Take a pledge, a vow, to enlighten the dark mind, so called low class people, less educated ones, that they should have respect for all women.  Educate all to respect every woman.

I take a pledge “to CHANGE MYSELF and RESPECT ALL WOMEN in ALL RESPECTS and would be HONEST with myself on this pledge”. I again urge everyone to do whatever they can do, but PLEASE DO.

After all, till what time we would have debates, sessions and resentments on these incidents.

This has to END, and to END anything, we need to START; START now.

Being A Boy...an inner voice influenced by change in society.

Induja Pillai an emerging voice of new Indian society. I very much appreciate her effort for putting this so honestly in public domain, that what she thinks and what all her expectations from life and a life partner? I won't hesitate to acknowledge this fact that I got motivated by her to write this blog and put my view on the same.

As we all know, arrange marriages are the most complicated affairs of Indian society, where even your time and place of birth also plays a vital role not to forget caste and religion are equally important too. Nowadays girls are putting their expectations or aspiration from their life partner more honestly. Somewhere, I have started feeling the conventional taboo's attached with females would eventually breakdown.

Being a boy, one of my friend is also facing the same complicated situation of arrange marriage but by having a conversation with him, I am feeling that conventional taboo's for boys are not even showing a slightest crack. He was rejected by a girl for marriage since his annual income was lesser than her although they were in relationship for years. Every other person is evaluating him on her own self made economic parameters. few I have listed below:

1. Annual CTC
2. Own a flat
3. Own a car
4. Have been to abroad (as he is from IT)

He is actually graded on these parameters and given marks accordingly not by girls family but from girls themselves. His kundali, habits and character have taken the secondary and tertiary priority. There is nothing wrong in expecting a financially viable and stable life partner. But the females who are earning fairly well are also following these parameters more rigorously. If a girl is earning 15Lacs per annum, she wants life partner who earning is above 20 Lacs.

This recent change in attitude of the society raises a question why only boys have to provide the economical stability. Why can't they can be a house man even if they are willing to do so, like me.

I am low earning a very common salaried professional, not very smart, just have an average looks or may be below average. I am not physically too fit. If I ever get a girl who's earn fairly well and want to marry me. I would willingly quit my job to take up all household responsibility and become a devoted house man. But unfortunately by seeing my friends case it is next to impossible. I will also have to fulfill above mentioned parameters and may be more. And thank God , that there is no-one from relatives or my family are aware of my blog or else I would have been tagged as irresponsible just because I am ready become a house man and no father will ever give his daughter to me and no girl will even look at me.
Is it possible, that a time may come when conventions for a boy will also be broken? and they will actually be free from overburden liabilities and their partners will start carrying equal share willingly?

The Republic Day

Source: www.speakingtree.in

Today on 26^th January we had celebrated 66^th republic day of our beloved nation. A day mostly regarded as national holiday and when it falls on a weekend, it’s a heart break for many of us as we lose a vacation. This time it was a party time because it fell on Monday and provides us the luxury of extended weekend. As we all know this day our constitution came into force and it not only granted our rights but also pledged to protect them in every circumstance.

As per definition republic means ” a state in which supreme power is held by the people and their elected representatives”  but to understand this term to we need to travel in time, starting from 320 BC when a roman philosopher Socrates  coined this term while discussing about various forms of justice with his favorite student Plato .Later on Plato compiled his own thoughts and teachings from Socrates in his famous book “The Republic” which is still regarded as one of the greatest books in the history of human civilization till date.

In medieval period when renaissance was its peak which started as a cultural movement but impacted the political and economic system all across the western world. People were outraged by their sufferings and insensitivity of their rulers towards them, which led to various revolutions in Europe and it, resulted establishing various republican nations in the world. This transformation was well quoted by a French poet Victor Hugo in his lines “No power can stop an idea whose time has come”. That time it was the idea of equality, liberty and freedom dominated the world, and I pray it should always remain the dominant one.

Here in India people were still leaving under the rule of monarchs later on the we were under a colonial rule. In 1857 people made an attempt to snatch the power from the British in a hope to revive there rights but failed. Since 1857 numerous revolutionaries shred there conventional life and step into a path of struggle so that they can enlighten the life of Indians. Once Bhagat Singh said “One individual may die for an idea; but that idea will, after his death, incarnate itself in a thousand lives. That is how the wheel of evolution moves on and the ideas and dreams of one nation are bequeathed to the next”. This liberty by virtue of which we live in a so comfortable and peaceful life had come at a great cost. Many have died protecting or nourishing this idea and this date also this liberty is preserved by those who march past on Raj-path and salute this great nation in an absolute sublimity. In my opinion it’s our necessity not only preserve this freedom and liberty but also fix the loopholes in it which are somehow hampering our own prosperity. I think it is the only to pay real homage to all those pure spirits who presented us this way of life in which “We the people” have a stake in decision.

 We should celebrate this day more actively than our birthdays since on our birthday's we were just born, but on this day we were acknowledged with all freedoms and rights. This day not only guarantees the rights of millions today but also to the unborn millions yet to come.

The much awaited contest: Delhi Assembly Election

The voters of Delhi should feel very proud that they have transformed the political discourse of this nation. You have two people in Chief Ministerial race, who came from an anti-corruption movement launched by Shri Anna Hajare. The last year victory of AAP had install a sense of conscience in all major parties that there traditional style of politics won’t work anymore. The BJP is forced to land Mrs Kiran Bedi and project her as the CM candidate, an iconic personality and moreover she led a furious movement for Janlokpal. All credit goes to voters of Delhi.

I recalled a dialogue from a Bollywood movie that “It is easy to choose between a good and a bad but very difficult to choose between two bad”, but the people of Delhi has to choose between two goods, purely amazing. Now everybody will vote according to his will and judgment but it will be very interesting to see to results. In 2013 AAP was not just a party, it was a revolution. There was a wave in favor of them, I can’t comment on current scenario, with which party the public opinion is aligned, but certainly I want to interpret the outcomes with my little knowledge.

Source: India Today

 AAP Wins: Considering the case where AAP gets a majority, it will boost the enthusiasm and energy in their party cadres across the nation and probably all coming assembly election see emergence of AAP. They will get a national platform to perform, if they able to perform well in administering Delhi, there popularity will increase exponentially as they will get the complete media coverage because of the location. Down the line it is highly possible scenario that people may see them or they can eventually become the only political party who can counter BJP. It is certainly a pretty bad case for regional, secular and caste based political parties. There mere existence will be at stake.

Source: India Today

BJP Wins: This will send certainly relax opposition parties that they are still in game and are not replaced by AAP. They will defeat BJP one day. But here it will create a slight confusion in my mind, to whom BJP will give the credit of victory? Modi wave or clean image of Kiran Bedi? Interestingly it will also be an outcome to watch. Although I have no doubt about the leadership of Mrs Kiran Bedi or any other leader irrespective of their party. Victory of BJP may have a positive outcome since if same party is in center and state, experts say then there is much more synchronization and high level of co-operation in decision making process. By this logic the development of state may expedite. But our PM has made it very clear that in the process of development political differences will be step aside.

No matter Who so ever wins this election , but certainly ,stakes are very high. Congress is fighting for its survival, BJP want to prove that NaMo charisma still dominate and for AAP they have establish themselves as a viable and credible option. Stage is set for another historical verdict by the people. I will urge every Delhiites go out and participates and contribute in creation of this history. You have got the chance and the power to change the entire political debate of this nation. Go for it.

The easy way out: Ban Uber

Again Delhi is in a media lime light for a heinous crime. A cab driver of Uber has been accused of this crime. These frequently happening despicable incidents triggers alarms bells in our society and bound us to think when will be our metropolitan cities will be safe for women.

Unfortunately nobody has any idea, this issue has become a political gimmick in our nation. Nobody wants to address the core issue of women safety, they just want to do anything to ease pressure from media and public, banning of Uber services just represent this thought process. Authorities are very brave and bold to take the most easy way, Ban it. It is also perfect way cover up your own failures and regardless of whatever we do with start up's, we gonna still campaign for "Make in India".

In my view when Uber has initially started its service, then why not its operational architecture or management was questioned? Why not guidelines were laid down for operations? Why always authorities have to wait for terrible incident to happen in order to act? I do have used Uber cab services many times. One will astonished to know many drivers left there conventional jobs, what we called in our society a good job then to being driver, in order to support their and their families rising financial needs. A day I took an Uber cab to go back home from my office and I was amazed to know the driver was well educated and used to work in a private bank where he gets only 22K per month as salary. He left his job and and joined the Uber fleet now he earns upto 35K-40K per month. As per Indian standards of society a bank job is far better than a drivers job even though how much less you earn or however hectic or intolerable your working conditions may be. He defy the conventions laid down by the society and make a choice for the betterment of his and his family but failed to comply the incompetence of our system now he has to pay the price of being unemployed.

Media reports are indicating that the accused is a repeat offender but did get police clearance anyhow. if this is true, it clearly indicate the lapses in our system. however the Delhi police did a commendable job  by arresting the accused in short span of time. I have only questions for policy makers did they really thought about drivers who actually did there job in best possible way to facilitate their customers. Before coming to conclusion over banning a complete fleet of any cab service, do a survey how many people are actually comfortable to hire a private cab. it is always an easy way to abandoned the entire system or ban the complete organization but who will pay the price, authorities travelling in red beacon's or the end customer or the people now employed by the decision. Why not opting the hard way, that they introspect the system fix the loop-holes and laid down stringent policies which will benefit all. After all our PM also quote regularly 'Sabka sath sabka vikash'

The Media Justice

Recent Rohtak eve teasing incident shows the diminishing values of human behavior and degrading aspects of law and order. The bravery shown by the girls is also very commendable.  Keeping all these things in my mind I want draw the attention towards a dangerous pattern evolving in our society, nowadays we are so impatient for justice and have a mad rush for questioning the authorities or our system, that one day it will lead to a disaster.

This story is getting covered on all news channel as headlines and in the manner it is being presented is not very appropriate. Less than 48 hours have passed and the accused have been already rejected by the Indian army, Announcements have been made to honor the girls on the republic day (source: TOI). Everybody is in some kind of conclusive mood over the incidents as the accused has been proven guilty and heroic behavior of the girls is being treated as a turning point in the transformation of our society. I am not saying not to applaud anybody’s resistance towards any injustice but at least one can refrain itself from jumping at a conclusion without a fair trial of the accused.

All this hue and cry defies the principle of, law of natural justice which grant every accused, right for a fair hearing. We have seen in past that hype has been created for any incident and post investigation the truth was entirely different. I advise my readers before making any decision or reacting over this incident on social media always remember that there are three versions of a story, my version, your version and the truth. Let the trial carry out.

Eve teasing or any other incident undermining dignity of a women is very unfortunate and perpetrators involve in such incidents should get severe punishments, but being part of a civilized society please don’t get carried away by a media justice.

Qualification OR Competency?

Smt. Smiriti Irani taking oath 

From last few days I am bound to say that I am exhausted by watching debates after debates over the row erupted on the educational qualification of our current HRD minister Smt. Smiriti Irani Ji. To be very honest when the news broke about her portfolio I too was skeptical not because I was aware of her qualification but because of her administrative inexperience. So far she has undertaken the responsibility of party activities and probably she would have delivered  her responsibilities in a very efficient manner, but directly HRD ministry with cabinet rank certainly raised my eyebrow. But nevertheless I had seen her in much of debates and very found of her vocal  and debating strength, therefore it came to my mind she could be a good administrator and time will tell.

But now there is every where Smt. Irani ji and her qualification and there I do also have some opinion. Some people give this argument that this is the India of 21st century and if we the young, educated and dynamic Indians are expecting a highly qualified education minister what is wrong in it? After all we also pass the barriers of degree in order to get a job. By this logic this question is very legitimate but here is my question, Literacy rate in India is 74%, means there are 26% of illiterate people also have  voting rights, means they have a stake in deciding the government. So by the above logic they shouldn't have this responsibility. and even If you make qualification as check to judge this responsibility then many qualified people do get carried away by caste and religion while casting their vote and you add this number too, there will be a huge amount of voters who will be put to dock, keeping in mind the responsibility they have. But we had faith in there competency of judgement so we should do the same with Smiriti Ji. Let's watch her work for a while.

In a debate I saw a person stating that she is just 12th pass how she is going to interact people in II M's and II T's. What kind of ill-logical thinking is this? Did degree of these prestigious institute make people insensitive or there is an sense intellectual supremacy and arrogance prevails in there campuses? I think this is not true, by my own experience I can only say that an old saying is absolutely true in there respect that "A talented person is always polite in same way a tree laden with fruits is always bend". I don't think her qualification will ever bother them but her competency may, which can only be seen by letting her to the job given. Well I to have admitted my job is much easier as many have given this argument that a health minister should have to be a doctor or civil aviation minister shouldn't have to be a pilot (courtesy: Omar Abudullah).

But I have seen many leaders are jumping in and using this incident as leverage to cover there own academic background and eagerly putting this argument that  if she can be a competent then we are also. I don't want to take names but I have a request for them please don't buzz in, she is competent enough to be qualified for this discussion but with due respect you are not, please carry on with your caste and regional politics.

This discussion of qualification verses competency is going to echo louder in coming days with lot of argument and counter argument and this debate will go on. Some people will also took out the resume of very qualified peoples and raised the question about there competency just for the sake of argument but I don't want to get into all this. In my advice Smiriti Irani ji you don't have to win any debate, you have to win people, for which you should continue with your hard work and the world will acknowledge and admire your effort, just ignore this kinds of petty and irrational controversies, after all your party symbol is lotus, " the more sludge will be thrown, the more will lotus bloom". if you did justice with this ministry, you will be idol to millions of Indians and who knows in 2029 general election you are running for country's top job. i.e. Prime Minister of "Republic of India". Now it all depends on you future course of hard work and commitment towards the people of this country.